Life is a constant surprise to me. We never know what will happen next, what we will see. What important person will come into our lives or which one we will lose. Life is change. If we are lucky we will find comedy in it. We must be thankful for every moment of every day no matter how flawed.

An open letter to my Dad

Tom,

You were my best friend. I loved that you came to my work and just talked. “Your mom is driving me nuts; can I just sit here for a while.”

Come on back whenever you want.

You stopped and showed me the Cadillac of hitches you bought. I did not know at the time, you would never use it. We towed the jeep up to Soapstone one last time for you. I cracked the grill on the jeep, thought to myself, “when Tom sees this he is going to be mad.”

You allowed Mom to meet Tom again. She never stopped talking about “Tommy”.

Whenever I get discouraged about the world, I think of you. Would what I am doing now make you proud? If not I do not do it.

“As we look back over time
We find ourselves wondering…
Did we remember to thank you enough
For all you have done for us?
For all the times you were by our sides
To help and support us…
To celebrate our successes
To understand our problems
And accept our defeats?
Or for teaching us by your example,
The value of hard work, good judgment,
Courage and integrity?
We wonder if we ever thanked you
For the sacrifices you made.
To let us have the very best?
And for the simple things
Like laughter, smiles and times we shared?
If we have forgotten to show our
Gratitude enough for all the things you did,
We’re thanking you now.
And we are hoping you knew all along,
How much you meant to us.”

Tom, I promise, I will never forget. I live every day to make you proud.

Bad attitudes are like a cold

There is a story of two men who decided to go duck hunting. They came out on a boat early in the morning. After shooting the first duck, one of the hunters, who brought along a dog, sent his dog to fetch the duck. The dog leaped from the boat, ran across the surface of the water, and retrieved the duck. The dog’s owner smiled with pride, but the other hunter said nothing.

A while later, they shot another duck. Again, the dog scampered across the water and retrieved the duck. Again, the second hunter was silent. Finally, the dog’s owner said, “Did you notice anything particular about my new dog?” To this, the second hunter replied,

“Yes, he can’t swim.”

It seems people find the negative in any situation. Some people are only happy when they are unhappy. Bad attitudes are like a cold. When someone has one, it is very contagious. If we don’t take some preventive medicine, we can catch it as well.

Most people think they have a great attitude. A great attitude is a discipline. You may be thinking that all this focus on attitude stifles opinion about how to become better. On the contrary, it gives an open forum to discuss actions that concern you and how to make it better.

If you seek something different, make a different decision.

VOB Intro

Tattoo of Popeye

In 2001, I got a Tattoo of Popeye on my upper right arm. Everyone asked why a cartoon. You will have a cartoon on your arm forever. A Popeye that looks like you? There were many comments about it. Mostly about my cartoon nature, never taking life seriously.

As a cartoon character, Popeye was wise. Every episode he said something we all should live our lives around. “ I am what I am.”

Many will criticize this. We should not excuse our behavior because it is what we are. If this is your thought, I will agree. Saying I am what I am, does not justify our behavior in any way. The silver rule should always apply. 

“Do not do unto others what you would not have them do unto you."

I digress. This is not the meaning I take from Popeye's saying.

Be comfortable with who you are, make mistakes, admit them quickly, do not judge, who you are is enough. Billy Joel sings of the stranger we hide away forever. Hide less, show more.

Work every day to be better than yesterday. Little things can create significant changes. Accept those around you, flaws and all.

If you have to be perfect to be loved, find someone else.

Warts are not necessarily bad traits.

I am not advocating, being stubborn, or using this as an excuse for lousy behavior. We cannot justify some actions, or we will die lonely.

I am saying we all need to love ourselves. Find that person. Be that person. It is okay to be you. Sometimes we make a mistake, we are all different, yet we are all alike.

Most people feel as you do about themselves. In times of darkness, we are who we are. Love that person, be that person. Continue to improve but love yourself.

“ Do not do to yourself that which you would not do to others.”

Remember you are always in the right place, at the right time, if you have the right attitude.

"Grandpa what would happen if you ran over a ninja?

• My 5-year old grandson asked me in the car the other day "Grandpa what would happen if you ran over a ninja?”
• Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies".

·                  Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

·                  Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

·                  I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

·                  Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?

·                  Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQs. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

·                  There is a great need for sarcasm font.

·                  Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the fuck was going on when I first saw it.

·                  How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

·                  I would rather try to carry 10 grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

·                  I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

·                  LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

·                  I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

·                  Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies".

·                  I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

·                  I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

·                  Bad decisions make good stories.

·                  Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem …

·                  You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

·                  Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

·                  I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

·                  "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this. Ever.

·                  I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

·                  I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

·                  I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

·                  I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

·                  Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

·                  I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

·                  I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

Its a repost from last year, still funny

From ruminations.com:

A Fish Story, sort of

We see the world as we are not as it really is. We continuously look for reinforcement around us. Anything that supports what we think, right or wrong.

Open our minds to the possibilities we do not see, they are endless.

A Fish Story, sort of.

“There are these two young fish swimming along, and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says, “Morning, boys, how's the water?” And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes, “What the hell is water?”

If at this moment, you're worried that I plan to present myself here as the wise old fish explaining what water is to you younger fish, please don't be. I am not the wise old fish. The immediate point of the fish story is that the most obvious, ubiquitous, important realities are often the ones that are the hardest to see and talk about. Stated as an English sentence, of course, this is just a banal platitude — but the fact is that, in the day-to-day trenches of adult existence, banal platitudes can have life-or-death importance. That may sound like hyperbole or abstract nonsense.

A huge percentage of the stuff that I tend to be automatically certain of is, it turns out, totally wrong and deluded. Here's one example of the utter wrongness of something I tend to be automatically sure of: Everything in my own immediate experience supports my deep belief that I am the absolute center of the universe, the most real, most vivid and important person in existence. We rarely talk about this sort of natural, basic self-centeredness, because it's so socially repulsive, but it's pretty much the same for all of us, deep down. It is our default-setting, hard-wired into our boards at birth. Think about it: There is no experience you've had that you were not at the absolute center of. The world as you experience it is right there in front of you, or behind you, to the left or right of you, on your TV, or your monitor, or whatever. Other people's thoughts and feelings have to be communicated to you somehow, but your own are so immediate, urgent, real — you get the idea. But please don't worry that I'm getting ready to preach to you about compassion or other-directedness or the so-called “virtues.” This is not a matter of virtue — it's a matter of my choosing to do the work of somehow altering or getting free of my natural, hard-wired default-setting, which is to be deeply and literally self-centered, and to see and interpret everything through this lens of self.

People who can adjust their natural default-setting this way are often described as being “well adjusted,” which I suggest to you is not an accidental term.”

I took this from a speech called this is water. If you have not heard it or read it, take the time. David Foster Wallace on Life and Work.