Thursday, May 31, 2018

Tattoo of Popeye


In 2001, I got a Tattoo of Popeye on my upper right arm. Everyone asked why a cartoon. You will have a cartoon on your arm forever. A Popeye that looks like you? There were many comments about it. Mostly about my cartoon nature, never taking life seriously.

As a cartoon character, Popeye was wise. Every episode he said something we all should live our lives around. “ I am what I am.”

Many will criticize this. We should not excuse our behavior because it is what we are. If this is your thought, I will agree. Saying I am what I am, does not justify our behavior in any way. The silver rule should always apply. 
Do not do unto others what you would not have them do unto you."

I digress. This is not the meaning I take from Popeye's saying.

Be comfortable with who you are, make mistakes, admit them quickly, do not judge, who you are is enough. Billy Joel sings of the stranger we hide away forever. Hide less, show more.

Work every day to be better than yesterday. Little things can create significant changes. Accept those around you, flaws and all.

If you have to be perfect to be loved, find someone else.

Warts are not necessarily bad traits.

I am not advocating, being stubborn, or using this as an excuse for lousy behavior. We cannot justify some actions, or we will die lonely.

I am saying we all need to love ourselves. Find that person. Be that person. It is okay to be you. Sometimes we make a mistake, we are all different, yet we are all alike.

Most people feel as you do about themselves. In times of darkness, we are who we are. Love that person, be that person. Continue to improve but love yourself.

“ Do not do to yourself that which you would not do to others.

Remember you are always in the right place, at the right time, if you have the right attitude.

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

"Grandpa what would happen if you ran over a ninja?

  • My 5-year old grandson asked me in the car the other day "Grandpa what would happen if you ran over a ninja?”
  • Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies".
·                  Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
·                  Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
·                  I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
·                  Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
·                  Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQs. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
·                  There is a great need for sarcasm font.
·                  Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the fuck was going on when I first saw it.
·                  How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
·                  I would rather try to carry 10 grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
·                  I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
·                  LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
·                  I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

·                  I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
·                  I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
·                  Bad decisions make good stories.
·                  Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem …
·                  You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
·                  Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
·                  I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
·                  "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this. Ever.
·                  I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
·                  I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
·                  I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
·                  I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
·                  Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
·                  I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
·                  I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

Its a repost from last year, still funny


Friday, May 4, 2018

A Fish Story, sort of


We see the world as we are not as it really is. We continuously look for reinforcement around us. Anything that supports what we think, right or wrong.
Open our minds to the possibilities we do not see, they are endless.
A Fish Story, sort of.

“There are these two young fish swimming along, and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says, “Morning, boys, how's the water?” And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes, “What the hell is water?”

If at this moment, you're worried that I plan to present myself here as the wise old fish explaining what water is to you younger fish, please don't be. I am not the wise old fish. The immediate point of the fish story is that the most obvious, ubiquitous, important realities are often the ones that are the hardest to see and talk about. Stated as an English sentence, of course, this is just a banal platitude — but the fact is that, in the day-to-day trenches of adult existence, banal platitudes can have life-or-death importance. That may sound like hyperbole or abstract nonsense.

A huge percentage of the stuff that I tend to be automatically certain of is, it turns out, totally wrong and deluded. Here's one example of the utter wrongness of something I tend to be automatically sure of: Everything in my own immediate experience supports my deep belief that I am the absolute center of the universe, the most real, most vivid and important person in existence. We rarely talk about this sort of natural, basic self-centeredness, because it's so socially repulsive, but it's pretty much the same for all of us, deep down. It is our default-setting, hard-wired into our boards at birth. Think about it: There is no experience you've had that you were not at the absolute center of. The world as you experience it is right there in front of you, or behind you, to the left or right of you, on your TV, or your monitor, or whatever. Other people's thoughts and feelings have to be communicated to you somehow, but your own are so immediate, urgent, real — you get the idea. But please don't worry that I'm getting ready to preach to you about compassion or other-directedness or the so-called “virtues.” This is not a matter of virtue — it's a matter of my choosing to do the work of somehow altering or getting free of my natural, hard-wired default-setting, which is to be deeply and literally self-centered, and to see and interpret everything through this lens of self.

People who can adjust their natural default-setting this way are often described as being “well adjusted,” which I suggest to you is not an accidental term.”



I took this from a speech called this is water. If you have not heard it or read it, take the time. David Foster Wallace on Life and Work.