·
Bad decisions make
good stories.
- I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
·
Obituaries would be a
lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
·
Nothing sucks more
than that moment during an argument when you realise you're wrong.
·
I totally take back
all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
·
Is it just me, or are
80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook
people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
·
Do you remember when
you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge
out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid did that,
but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or
message boards or FAQs. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
·
There is a great need
for sarcasm font.
·
Sometimes, I'll watch
a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realise I had no idea
what the f#$% was going on when I first saw it.
·
How the hell are you
supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
·
I would rather try to
carry 10 grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
·
I think part of a best
friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
·
LOL has gone from
meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
·
I have a hard time
deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
·
Every time I have to
spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a
blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name
to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies".
·
I find it hard to
believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on
the water.
·
I can't remember the
last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
·
Why is it that during
an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and
where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know
where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem …
·
You never know when it
will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind
that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
·
Can we all just agree
to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my
collection.
·
I'm always slightly
terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes
to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
·
"Do not machine
wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this. Ever.
·
I hate when I just
miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately
call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I
didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
·
I hate leaving my
house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the
entire day. What a waste.
·
I like all of the
music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every
fifteen songs in my iTunes.
·
I keep some people's
phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
·
Even under ideal
conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the
G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can
find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes
closed, first time every time...😁
·
I think the freezer
deserves a light as well.
·
My 4-year old grandson
asked me in the car the other day "Grandpa, what would happen if you ran over a
ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
From ruminations.com:
